Are the Outer Banks LGBT-friendly? A Queer Local’s View

By Out on the Outer Banks
Feb. 22, 2023

If you belong to the LGBT+ community and are considering a trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, it makes sense to wonder whether the area will feel welcoming and accepting. As a queer traveler, I understand how much it matters to visit places that feel LGBT-friendly. I was raised on the Outer Banks and have also lived in cities with active LGBT+ communities, including Washington D.C. I regularly spend time in larger cities across the country where LGBT+ life is highly visible, yet I keep coming back to the small barrier islands called the Outer Banks.

The Outer Banks stands apart as a vacation destination with something to offer every kind of traveler. For visitors seeking clearly LGBT+ experiences, the annual OBX Pridefest, now going on its thirteenth year, is an obvious place to start. What I value most about the Outer Banks, though, is its easygoing mood, its natural scenery, and the sense that it sits apart from everywhere else. Together, those qualities attract people from many backgrounds around the world, and that variety helps create an atmosphere that feels genuinely welcoming.

A blend of people from many places

A large share of visitors arrive from Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and other Northeastern states, yet the Outer Banks has a reputation that reaches far beyond the region. During the summer months especially, both visitors and seasonal workers come from around the globe to spend time here. My own family has hosted seasonal workers in past years, giving me the chance to build friendships with people from Thailand, China, Taiwan, Jamaica, Macedonia, Ukraine, Turkey, and other places. Around hotels, restaurants, and beaches, you will encounter a broad mix of people working, vacationing, and enjoying the same coastline.

The area also includes many immigrant-owned businesses, along with POC-owned, woman-owned, and LGBT-owned businesses. Like me, plenty of local residents have spent time living elsewhere and travel frequently, especially during the off-season. Those factors combine into a setting that can feel unexpectedly cosmopolitan and broadly welcoming. There is also something about beach life that seems to make people a little warmer and easiergoing. The overall atmosphere is relaxed and mellow.

A place with its own identity

Southern Hospitality may play some role, although I do not really think of the Outer Banks as especially Southern. Because the Outer Banks is physically separated from the mainland, it has developed a distinct culture that should not be judged simply by assumptions about the rest of the state. When I tell people I am from North Carolina, they are often surprised that I do not speak with a Southern accent. Many residents here do not. After crossing the bridge, you really do enter somewhere different. Even so, hospitality is easy to find here, along with plenty of kind southern folk.

It is also hard to compare one Outer Banks town directly with another, since the Outer Banks extends for over 150 miles. I know the Northern beaches best, roughly the stretch from Nags Head and Manteo up to Duck. The Southern beaches, including Cape Hatteras National Seashore and all of Hatteras Island, may have an entirely different feel, but they are absolutely worth visiting too. That part of the Outer Banks offers even more natural beauty and an even stronger sense of distance from the everyday world.

The role of politics

Visitors who are not from the South may understandably feel cautious about traveling to a Southern state, particularly to more remote areas. The South is often linked with anti-LGBT+ views and discriminatory policies. It also has to be said that LGBT+ issues are inherently political, and most LGBT+ people lean liberal. North Carolina has had real challenges in the area of LGBT+ equality, but I would say the state is among the least southern in that respect.

North Carolina is generally viewed as a swing state rather than a conservative stronghold like many other southern states. For the past six years, the state has had a democratic governor who has put policies in place to protect LGBT+ people. More recently, both of North Carolina’s republican senators backed the Respect for Marriage Act, which became law in December 2022. They were two of only twelve republicans in the US Senate who voted that way.

The Outer Banks, again, has its own character. It is more liberal than many areas of the state, though not as liberal as larger cities; overall, the Outer Banks still tends to lean conservative. Even so, Dare County and the towns of the Outer Banks have a history of taking more liberal positions on LGBT-specific matters. When North Carolina passed the nationally embarrassing HB2 bathroom bill in 2016, towns including Duck and Nags Head publicly opposed it. HB2 is now dead and gone.

Change over time

Having grown up on the Outer Banks, I have personally watched it grow more welcoming and accepting for LGBT+ people. More LGBT+ people seem to live here and visit now, Pride flags appear more often, especially in the summer months, and a small number of LGBT+ events take place during the year. Much of that was not visible when I first came out in 2007. At that time, I knew of only one gay person, while today I notice a much stronger LGBT+ presence. Of course, it is not always possible to know whether someone is LGBT+, and LGBT+ people have always been part of this place. Still, it feels like more people are openly and visibly proud now.

While sitting in a coffee shop writing this, I noticed a woman come in wearing a rainbow Pride flag patch on her jacket. In that same coffee shop, I happened to see a gay neighbor who introduced me to his boyfriend visiting from out of town. The bathroom there has a gender-neutral sign that reflects an inclusive attitude. Elsewhere this week, I crossed paths with another gay friend who introduced me to someone he knew, and I met two additional LGBT+ people after complimenting one of them on a Lady Gaga shirt. When I worked at a restaurant on the Duck boardwalk over the summer, I regularly saw same-sex couples eating out and holding hands. I have also held hands with a former partner while walking along the beach and felt completely comfortable doing it.

So, is the Outer Banks LGBT-friendly?

Because of its diversity, relaxed atmosphere, distinctive culture, and LGBT+ offerings, the Outer Banks feels very LGBT-friendly. The LGBT+ community is extremely diverse, and this is only my view as a queer local, but many residents and visitors I have spoken with share a similar impression.

I also value the Outer Banks Visitors Bureau’s commitment to promoting diversity and inclusion. Bringing in minority voices like mine to create content like this is one example of how seriously they take welcoming LGBT+ people, and everyone else, to the Outer Banks. In the end, the Outer Banks is a beautiful, singular place that does not really compare to anywhere else, and LGBT+ people should feel absolutely welcome to come out on the Outer Banks and experience it.

Author

Out on the Outer Banks highlights the OBX as an inclusive and LGBT-friendly place to live and vacation. More blog posts and an online shop are available at OutontheOBX.com. Out on the Outer Banks can also be found on Instagram (@OutontheOBX) and Facebook for information about local businesses, events, attractions, and more.